"currently battling with my dear friend, the Silverstripe CMS" - 18 hours ago
"is thoroughly relaxed at another Irish farmhouse B&B, this time one run by a character and a half, Sharon Moore.... http://fb.me/Fd1zVe5z" - 1 day ago
"Is this the Nellie bunker you were talking about mate? Safely avoided I'm pleased to report http://fb.me/EHAvCmyU" - 2 days ago
The other day I was boring you lot with my revelation that life is full of contrasts. I’m afraid to say it’s a revelation that keeps pestering me, and at this very moment it has moved me to pen a few words. Indulge me, if you will. (Or click away to a more interesting website).
Yesterday was a battle – on the golf course and off. The elements were in their element at Flinders Golf Club (surely the most exposed strip of turf in this great land?), so there were a few weary, wind-blown looks as we toddled off the 18th green. A pie and chips silenced our rumbling tummies, but provided only temporary relief for weary bodies and minds. The beer that followed at the Flinders Hotel didn’t help. But in it I did find some comfort after having been chewed up and spat out by what we thought was going to be a benign koala bear of a golf course. I digress.
Michael and I sat patiently in the hotel, as you might do in a doctor’s waiting room, for our segment to air on Fox Sports. (That’s why we were in the pub/hotel, for the TV – you wouldn’t usually find us there...). A pleasant surprise arrived in the form of our pal, Nige Bruce (my dad’s / uncle’s chum from Nor’n Ireland – see Day 7) and his partner in crime, Harry (an interesting Dutch ex-Naval Officer, who had more stories to tell than your average bear). The pair are over here for a week or so with an unlikely bunch of humans from their club in Rotorua, to play some serious golf (no messing about here, no sir, it’s a golfing trip with a capital GT – quite unlike puregolf2010 of course which has a more holistic ethos). Anyway once our 15 minutes of fame on the box passed us by, it was off down the road to Nige’s base camp, where the others were rustling up a meal fit for King Louis XVI, God rest his soul.
Base Camp was buzzing with the harem scarem snap crackle and pop that you might expect in an overseas holiday pad full of 8 Gentlemen Away On Tour. Above the banter rose Jean Phillippe’s charismatic brogue, commanding attention like a Sergeant Major with hornets in his undergarments. A character and a half, was JP. Organising his sous and commis chefs as only a Frenchman can, JP danced colourfully around the kitchen between his minions, pausing every 15 seconds or so to pass comment on Nige’s performance of his sole allotted task – choosing some suitable wine to accompany JP’s masterpiece. I needn’t tell you that Nige hadn’t exactly excelled, at least in JP’s eyes. “Sumssing wiss summ character yoo miight have choassen; but NON! Yoo ssink s’ok to pair my beauuutiful passta wiss summ rosay!...SSank yoo Nigelll foar zis beauuutiffull rossay yoo hav selected foar uss ziss evening...!” [The wine JP referred to as rose was actually cheap Aussie Shiraz, which to him didn’t have enough guts for the seafood pasta dish he’d so passionately conjured; a chianti or something of the like was in order, but Nige God Bless Him had failed to deliver, tisk tisk]. Nige came in for a bit of flak generally, throughout the evening, even for bringing out some fine Bushmills whisky – which in Patrick’s sullen eyes (a Maori Land Court judge who looked relieved to be away from the treadmill of the everyday) was tantamount to eating Home Brand peanut butter; it’s just not the same as the real thing (single malt Scotch, in this case, of course). Poor Nige.
The evening rolled by merrily, and we enjoyed the company of our kind guests, most of whom we managed to have a good yarn with. One or two of the gents seemed a bit suspicious of us young guns, and stayed at arms’ length. Perhaps we smelled bad. If we didn’t then, we certainly did in the morning after the control component of my contrast rant.
You see last night we left Base Camp and slept in the car, a first for puregolf2010. There was no room for us to stay with Nige & his merry men, and it was an hour or so up the road to Colin Douglas’ place – a drive that Goldy didn’t relish after the long day we’d had, and a pint of wine that might have tipped him over the edge. So it was either pitch a tent in the dark in a spot we hadn’t yet found, or sleep in the Honda. No brainer, really. As it turned out I think I would have slept better if I’d laid plane on the Base Camp driveway using a rock for a pillow and thorny branches as a makeshift sleeping back. Hondas are not designed for sleeping in, and this reflects in the level of comfort my friend and me enjoyed last night. Awful stuff.
It didn’t help that Goldy snores like the BFG (of Roald Dahl fame) and passes wind like clockwork every 6 seconds. A terrible human to sleep next to if every there was one; I don’t know how his poor girlfriend copes, and have a newfound respect for her tolerance. But it wasn’t just Goldy that made sleeping well last night harder than climbing K2. No. It was the car manufacturer’s fault too – why don’t the seats fold back down to horizontal? Ridiculous! Surely they know that travelling golfers might buy (slash: borrow) one of their cars, and they might on occasions shun conventional accommodation and rest their weary heads in the front seats?
One Of The Worst Nights’ Sleep Ever. ‘Twas a shame that such a poor sleep preceded one of the best courses we’ve played all year – Portsea, an absolute gem – but such is life. (Goldy’ll do a blog on the golf, it being his honour after he was less terrible than I today). My ten cents on Portsea is that it’s one of the most natural and clever little courses this side of Royal County Down; it stands up with the best in these parts, and that’s saying something. In my Top 5 out of 69 so far, seriously. It also sits in what I understand is one of the poshest neighbourhoods in ‘Straya, so it’s not the worst place to spend an afternoon – shattered or otherwise.
And so to this evening I take you, to the stimulus for this excuse for a blog post. As I punch the keys I’m sitting in the lounge watching the sun go down at Moonah Links – the Home of Australian Golf – where we’re staying for the next few nights. Tourism Victoria and Moonah Links have kindly got together and put us up, to ensure we see the very best of the Peninsula in our time here. From car seat to plush surrounds in one of Australia’s most beautiful spots. Not bad ‘eh. Can’t quite believe it myself truth be told.
It’s one thing playing at a top golf course, or golf facility; it’s quite another staying at one. An hour or so ago we cheerfully unpacked our life from said Honda into our respective top floor suites, which overlook the 18th fairway on The Legends Course (see Day 67).
In my suite I found a king size bed, a fully kitted out en suite bathroom, all the usual amenities and an ample balcony on which to eat my weetbix tomorrow morning. Just beautiful. After a leisurely shower I flicked through the guest information brochures, to ponder how we might spend our time here either side of the obligatory Golf. Got a few ideas. Within 25 metres of my bed is a salt water pool and a practice putting green. Might have a run, dip and a few putts before breakfast. Since I’m treating myself I might even break the seal on the fancy Aesop exfoliator that my kind brother gave me for Christmas. When in Rome, as They say.
This place is other-worldly in its ability to put a chap at ease. Sitting with my laptop in the bar there’s a relaxed atmosphere, and the sun’s just disappeared for another day – Day 69, to be precise. It’s an absolute privilege to be here, and we’re grateful to both Tourism Victoria and Moonah Links for extending us this very generous courtesy. Having slept on a car seat last night, tonight’s sleep will be that much sweeter. Sharp contrasts enhance the highs. Life is good right now, and I’m going to enjoy it before the contrast curve inevitably brings me back down to earth. I hope that life too is being good to you all, and that you won’t begrudge my good luck this evening after last night’s debacle.
Peace, JP (not the Frenchman, the other 'un)
Playing the two magnificent courses at Moonah Links back to back, Mike and I thought it better to combine our thoughts on each day into one blog. The Home of Australian Golf, as it's branded, has two championship layouts - The Open Course and The Legends Course. Both are gorgeous; both are very different; and both are among the best we've played this year.
The Open Course, which we played yesterday, is the first course built in Australia with a championship in mind - namely, The Aussie Open. Hence there are few trees, and most holes are separated by spectator (but not golfer)-friendly mounds of tussock. It's pretty long too, at 6783 metres or so off the blacks. (We played off the blues, weighing in at a more modest 6300 metres). Despite pretty serious rainfall in recent days there was a fair bit of roll (drainage is good in these parts, thanks to the sand-based soils sitting atop the Peninsula) - so The Open Course didn't quite play as long as it reads on the scorecard. Still we were hitting a few mid and long irons; and had the wind got up we no doubt would've been faced with a more daunting prospect.
Peter Thomson the designer refers to Hobbes when describing The Open Course "a Leviathan of a course" on the Moonah Links website. In a perverse way it's a shame that the wind didn't blow its guts out yesterday and that the black tee markers weren't laid out, because Mike and I like a challenge as much as Keith Richards likes a drink. Nevertheless we could see - having stood on a couple of the black tee blocks to visualise how it would play - just what a beast the course could be, in its element. Next time...
The opening hole is a fairly gentle introduction, although the approach shot is pretty tricky if you've laid up with an iron off the tee as we did. Actually the 1st was indicative of what was to come throughout many of the following 17 holes; a pretty straightforward tee shot very seldom precedes a straightforward approach shot. If you've got a wide open fairway to aim at, chances are you'll have a tiny (or himalaya like) green ahead that you're almost squinting to see, that's surrounded by the bunkers that the Mornington Peninsula is famous for. Now don't get me wrong, there are a good few holes where this trend is reversed, and it's the tee shot that needs to be threaded carefully between sandtraps, the approach being the milder challenge of the two. Good variation, characteristic of a carefully laid out track.
A good example of this dynamic is the 3rd hole, a wee gem of a par 4. Off the tee a rising fairway doglegs right out of sight between 3 bunkers in the landing zone. If you hit driver as I did you need to fly the ball about 220 / 230 over the first one cut at the corner of the dogleg, and stop it before the twin traps at 260 / 270 on the far side fo the fairway. A visually exciting shot. From there it's a straightforward wedge further up the hill to a big green, which I unfortunately 3 putted (one of several yesterday).
Your work's not over when you reach the green at The Open Course. 2 putts is often a good result. Thomson has managed to create authentic links greens that are difficult to read - something that must be a lot harder than one would think. Many new courses fall into the trap of cutting huge, severe hillocks in their greens, making it easy for the golfer to see the break their putt will take. Not so at Moonah, where I often couldn't decide whether the ball would break left or right. And putting's usually the strongest part of my game. The subtlety aside, the undulations are significant, and often sufficient to take a ball rolling onto the green away from its desired location. You have to be precise here.
Wayne, the Golf Ops Manager at Moonah, described The Open Course this morning when I spoke with him as the course you play when you want a test of golf. He wasn't wrong. Probably the most confronting bunker attack we've experienced in 2010. Poor Mike had 5 bunker shots on the 18th, at the time needing to hit the green in reg to tie the stats match.
The Legends Course, in Wayne's words, is the more enjoyable of the two; the one you play if you're looking for a pleasant round on a weekday evening. We played it this morning, with Michael from Tourism Victoria, and pleasant is certainly one word I'd use to describe it. Fun is another. Where The Open Course is relatively open, and austere, ti trees lining The Legends Course make for a tranquil, calming round of golf. Few holes border others; most snake through the bush, and bunkers (of course). It didn't feel as severely bunkered as its bully of a brother, although there were several massive waste bunkers one of which unkindly gobbled my ball.
Playing off the white tees (the blacks weren't out, again) Mike and i both found the course short, but that's not to say it doesn't have teeth. It does. Like yesterday, approach shots - even though many of the greens were big - had to be hit with precision, to avoid having triple breaking 50 footers. Mike started the day with back to back birdies on 1 and 2 (a par 5 and a driveable short par 4), and made another on the par 5 12th. I had birdies on 6, 10 and 12. We should have had more (I hit about 12 greens and Mike wasn't far behind).
A feature I particularly enjoyed on The Legends Course was the countouring of the fairways. Some funnelled tee shots into menacing bunkers; others funnelled the ball away from the ti tree back to the centre. Good shots can end up in nasty spots; average shots can turn out peachy. That's something I like. I also enjoyed playing a few blind tee shots, although it probably helped that our guest for the day - Michael - had a bit of local knowledge (and a GPS). Michael came down for the day from the city to join us, and show us round. A very nice chap indeed, whom we'll hopefully meet up with again in Melbourne in the coming weeks. He actually writes his own golfblog, on which he's done an enlightening review of the Moonah courses (Open and Legends), which I encourage you to check out if you're interested.
Mike, Michael and I had a split sixes haggle on the way round, never being ones to miss an opportunity for a match. Despite Michael H hitting the ball like an arrow off the tee all day he somehow managed to come 3rd; the ever competitive Michael G in second; and yours truly on top. Compounding Michael G's frustration was a loss in the daily March haggle (the stats match) - he lost greens in regs and putting (but was spared a (metaphorical) downtrou' by hitting more fairways than usual, and beating my pathetic 5). On The Open Course he lost fairways and greens (usually his forte), so he'll be looking to get on top of me (not literally) at Flinders in the morning. If he doesn't manage to scrape a win, he might not talk to me for a few days - those of you that know him will know he's a competitive wee fella, and that he doesn't like losing. He hates it in fact.
Overall impression of Moonah: a fantastic facility. Two great golf courses - each has its own virtues, and we both really enjoyed the variation (neither course runs up and down; holes on each run to all points on the compass, ensuring the wind doesn't have a one dimensional impact on your game, unless it swirls!). The staff at the resort were incredibly obliging. You can see why this place has a good name. Perhaps the thing that struck me most about Moonah was the number of young families we saw in our two days here. Kids were zipping round with mum and dad on the buggies, and getting up to mischief on the deck outside the clubhouse. It's refreshing to see a golf facility of this calibre being so family friendly; it creates a relaxed atmosphere that sometimes can't be found at exclusive clubs home to far less superior golf courses. So well done Moonah Links - a resort that's got something for everyone, and somewhere I'd happily bring my girlfriend (although she might not come!) and, in a (good) few years, my kids. Oh, and top quality golf.
After farewelling Moonah we shot up the road at a gallop for Foxy's Hangout winery, to join friends of my mum and dad's (and their two lovely daughters) for lunch. Roger and Lorraine knew my parents back in Edinburgh when they were my age (or thereabouts), and shared a few stories over some fine fare and fine wine (chardonnay I thought was particularly decadent) about what a rogue my old man was in his day. Now he's settled down, of course. [Dad, if you're reading, the Spanish Inquisition is coming this evening - you have some explaining to do.]
Tomorrow we're playing at the picturesque Flinders, and will catch up with another of my dad's pals - Nigel Bruce (whom we stayed with in Rotorua on Day 7/8). Bring it on.
Shinnecock
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